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Create Your Own Divorce Rules.

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Many people equate divorce with the term “failure.” But why? Throughout our lives, we break-up many relationships without being associated with the label “failure.”

We break-up professional relationships and define them as “a fresh start,” “a difference of opinion,” or “having different goals.”

We break-up friendships and define it as “growing up” or “having different interests.”

We break-up with our wardrobes several times over in our lives and define it as “going out of style.”

While the last one is not necessarily considered a committed relationship, it is merely another example of how life can change people and their journey.

Divorce does not have to be all that different. Breaking up a marriage is no easy decision, but once parties have made this decision, both people can and should try to focus on what comes next instead of dwelling on the past.

That is when you decide how you want your divorce to look.  Just because the neighbor and the girl from the coffee shop shared horror stories about their divorce, does not mean your experience has to be the same.

Only you get to decide how your divorce will play out and sometimes it helps to ask yourself a few questions:

1)    Can I still be a partner to this person without being their lover?

2)    Can I still parent with this person without living in the same household?

3)    Can we still be a family after this is all over?

4)    Do I want a Judge to decide how our life is going to be divided or how and when we get to spend time with our children?

5)    What do I want to remember about this experience?

Divorce does not have to mean expensive lawyer fees or emotional litigation. You and your spouse are the only ones who get to decide what your divorce looks like. Try having a conversation with them about the process and see where it goes. It may surprise you.

Hepner & Pagan, LLP is committed to supporting client’s goals and taking a modern approach to breaking-up marriages without breaking up families. Ask if mediation or collaborative law is right for you.

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