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Common Misconceptions About Divorce Mediation


There is more than one way to get a divorce in Santa Clara County. You may envision a long and nasty courtroom battle but fortunately, few divorce cases end up going to trial. At Hepner & Pagan, LLP our first choice for our client’s is to get their divorce related issues into mediation. Mediation is a sensible solution that allows you and your spouse to reach an agreement on all terms of the divorce. While the mediation process holds many benefits for divorcing couples, it is also largely misunderstood. Below, our trained Santa Clara County family law mediator outlines the biggest misconceptions, and the truth behind them.

Mediation is Only for Couples Who Wish to Reconcile

The purpose of mediation is not to provide therapy that helps you and your spouse stay together. Mediation is strictly meant to help divorcing couples reach an agreement to all terms of the divorce. Mediators are neutral third parties who only attempt to foster compromise and communication between the two parties. They do not provide marriage counseling and the vast majority of couples who enter the mediation process end up getting a divorce.

Mediation Only Works for Couples Who Agree to the Terms of Divorce

A mediated divorce is not an uncontested divorce. Uncontested divorce cases are those in which the couple agrees to all terms. These couples do not need mediation because they have already reached an agreement. Couples who disagree to even just one term can be unable to resolve their divorce on their own so they may choose mediation to resolve the dispute. This is the main purpose of mediation.

I Will Not Get Everything I Want in Mediation

There is actually some truth behind this misconception. Mediation will help you set goals to determine what marital assets are most important to you, or if you prioritize spending more time with the children. However, mediation should benefit both parties, which means you will have to compromise and there is a chance you may not get everything you initially wanted. Remember, though, that you will not get everything you want during litigation, either. You may even get less than what you can obtain through mediation—especially given the high cost of attorney fees.

I Waive My Right to a Divorce Trial when Using Mediation

There is no truth behind this misconception. Mediation is often successful for divorcing couples, but there are instances when it does not work. If that is the case, you always have the right to take the dispute to court so a judge can make the final decision.

Mediation Will Not Protect My Children from Divorce

The sad fact is that the divorce is going to be hard on the children no matter what. However, litigation is a very combative and adversarial process by its very nature. When going through it, things can become very tense between you and your spouse. Mediation, on the other hand, promotes cooperation and the mediator will always keep the emotional, physical, and psychological interests of the children at top of mind.

Our Family Law Mediators in Santa Clara County Can Help Resolve Your Disputes

If you are considering divorce, our Santa Clara County family law mediators can help. At Hepner & Pagan, LLP, our skilled mediators truly believe that this form of alternative dispute resolution can help all divorcing couples reach an agreement in an environment that makes it easier to proceed post-divorce. Call us now at 408-688-9153 or contact us online to request a consultation.

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